Monday, July 21, 2008

Media Summer Two Step (S)Election Rig

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By Unity in Diversity

Summer Spin for the Nowhere Man features a smashing new strategy to win the hearts and minds of Hillary supporters. Having voraciously devoured her dignity, gone to all lengths to destroy her credibility and spending the Primary season obliterating all objective information about her Presidential candidacy, MSM has decided its time to give the little lady her due.

CNN’s Friday, July 11, latest masterpiece in manipulation, indicates the degree to which the obama (I refuse to ever capitalize his name) campaign is worried. Giving Hillary more continuous air coverage, in this 60 minute special, than it ever did during the vote-getting season, the network hinted that Hillary deserves some credit, after all. While they pointed out (in their version) that, although she ran a terrible campaign which got off on a failing footing - due to her “arrogant” presumption of entitlement to office (a perspective the MSM, not Senator Clinton, generated) - it’s now come to light that the Clintons hold sway with millions of voters.

Now, isn’t that an extraordinary insight we needed ‘the world’s largest news network‘ to make clear? And that being the case, it’s time to give this she-devil her due - for, without her, it appears their Golden Boy might fall short of their mutual aims. While the same evidently illiterate geniuses at work continue to blur all distinctions between Hillary’s platforms and Barack’s, they and obama’s conjoined Corporate cause has begun, at last, to realize his polling results are shakier, week by week, and that will not serve. A strategic new spin is, thus, demanded.

And this one, as demonstrated by Andersen Cooper and friends, requires due deference to the more qualified Clinton, her unswerving supporters and even (however demeaning to acknowledge) her husband, with his record of salvaging our Republic from the ravages of the first Bush. We really should give MSM credit due. It musn’t be easy to stoop to inviting back two genuine, intelligent Hillary supporters (not the backstabbers they usually prefer to include). Next, think of the editing gymnastics involved in juxtaposing these candid commentaries on the Clintons’ undying merits with enough punctuating invalidations by network anti-Clintons to convey their real message. It goes something like this:

“What’s wrong with you people! We’ve been carefully applying our favorite technique- namely, to mesmerize all viewers with hourly repetitions of the same contrived ‘facts’ we want the public to believe- against their own best interests. How many times do we have to tell you that this campaign is over?! This is getting taxing (not on corporations, of course.)”

“Time for the ole bait and switch sales pitch. Hillary is soooo great, she ought to be a lifetime achievement leader in the Senate. (After all, somebody’s got to actually work on the issues.) Or, just imagine - she could be Governor of the great state of New York. Just picture her, even, on the Supreme Court in one of those cool black robes. And, if there are any out there who don’t think Hillary deserves such authority (since we’ve been saying otherwise for months on end), for you, here’s our stylish twenty-something female AA probama ‘expert’ who even agrees any of the above should do nicely. Finally, we’ll throw in our standard line-up of patriarchal women haters to remind you all - if you’re not over your emotional outburst yet, we guarantee by November, you won’t even remember what brought it on!”

“Lastly, if we must, (and this segment issued, no doubt, ondirective of Axelrod/Hitler himself) we will cast her gaze and your own toward the Vice Presidency. Think of what a Hillary Vice Presidency could do for the country. Breathe a sigh of relief knowing, that if she can only follow him around closely, twenty-four/seven, our nation and the world might stand a better chance of surviving his lack of leadership skills. However, as spokemen for obama’s campaign (even as grossly overpaid as we are) we aren’t in a position of being held to this offer. If it comes, it could only be bestowed by the Messiah himself. And we’re sure you understand, he won’t even offer unless he is certain of an acceptance. Not by Hillary, for that’s a given, but by her voters. We now extend the possibility of this time-limited offer and highly recommend you accept it, before it is off the table. Should you refuse, we will naturally never acknowledge any commitment was given nor implied. In the meantime, we’ll dangle it as the latest worm on our hook and see what impact it has on the next set of polls before deciding whether to pursue it further. . . . . and now back to our commercials for other useless, shoddy products you don’t really need or want.”

The momentuously multiplying Just Say No Deal members,who just raised millions in a few weeks, may be asking:Won’t they ever get it? We are not buying. Free shipping, vote pandering, issue-switching and globally expanding publicity aside. This is not a product we want in our White House. Not even with the finest of window dressing. Not even with internationally televised speeches, given in historic settings after weeks of plagiarized compilation and rehearsal. Not even if mobama learns to speak French in a whisper and wear Jackie Kennedy costumes day and night for eight years running. Not even if secret new technologies send night-long near-silent subliminal signals, via our sleeping computers: “It’s over, it’s over, buy now or be sorry later.”

Our answer will remain the same (in paraphrase of the wonderful witch from “Wicked”) “Whose to say we’ve been changed for the better? We only know we’ve been changed for good!” We are and shall remain . . . in one voice . . .nobama, noway, nohow.

Ain’t it funny how Will Bower can say more worth saying in a matter of moments on Fox than all Humpty Dumpty’s men can manage in a full hour on CNN?!

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